


where you can’t get what you want (but you can get me)

by couriersexy



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi lives, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, vague p5r spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/couriersexy/pseuds/couriersexy
Summary: “Goro,” Akira speaks up after his rant is over. Goro flops onto the bed next to him, “What?” Goro asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question. He’s being difficult again.“I think,” he starts before taking a deep breath, as if he’s putting more thought into this response than he has for anything in his entire life, “you have seriously misunderstood my capability for doing good. If the others hadn’t been there — if it had just been me and you on that ship? I would’ve let you do it.”
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 239





	where you can’t get what you want (but you can get me)

**Author's Note:**

> quarantine got me acting unwise i verbally said the synopsis of this fic to my cat at 5 am. 
> 
> anyway this is set like. right after shidos palace collapses 
> 
> theres a secret perks of being a wallflower reference in here <3...

Shido goes out with an unceremonious whimper — a pathetic excuse for an apology leaves Goro with the barest sliver of satisfaction he can glean from something that was meant to go far differently than this. It’s enough to make him start questioning what Shido would have been like to mercilessly kill, if he would have begged like the countless politicians, citizens, scientists that came before him. It’s a thought that makes Robin Hood shudder. Loki stays with a wave of disappointment. 

Unlike the owner, Shido’s palace crumbles with a bang, explosions rocking the ship and crumbling the few buildings yet to be swallowed by the red sea. It’s a fitting end. 

Ryuji, of course, is the one to charge blindly into the unknown to get them a boat. Akira outstretches his hand toward the back of the former track runner with a gaze full of concern and Goro thinks this all almost feels like a movie; as if he’s watching a series of events play out on a silver screen rather than escaping from his own father’s distorted cognition with a group of people he’d nearly (and had, in one case) killed. 

The boat falls into the water with a sound too soft for its weight and the group clambers in. Ann and Akira are the first to start looking for Ryuji, followed shortly by Yusuke and Futaba. Makoto and Haru start searching afterwards but Goro is far too distracted by the fire and brimstone from the fallout of a ship manned by someone far too prideful — the phrase “the captain must go down with the ship” echoes somewhere in his mind. 

He hardly notices the panic and confusion of Ryuji’s disappearance while they’re in the sea, so when they all unceremoniously fall to the concrete, he’s a bit more than shocked that the entirety of the Thieves have begun somewhat of a search and rescue party for a certain blond boy. 

Hours later, after the clamber of Ryuji’s inglorious return and the excited murmurs of getting dinner to treat themselves, Goro finds himself sitting on a couch in an attic he insulted as though it was the very bane of his existence not one week ago. Akira is staring at a spot on the ceiling and scrolling through the Thieves’ group chat. Morgana was in the windowsill but Futaba returned from dinner and he followed suit. 

“Goro...?” sounds off from the bed. It appears exhausted delinquents do not become mute. Small miracles. 

“Hm?” 

“You’re thinking so loud I can almost hear it above the sound of you ignoring the situation. Just wondering if you plan on sitting there to do it or if you’d rather be on the bed.” 

Despite Akira being able to read Goro like a goddamn book for several weeks now, he still blanks as if it’s the first time.

“Just thinking. You know what I planned for Shido originally. Not all of us are fearless leaders who can forgive anyone they meet.” it’s not meant to come out as snide as it does, but he supposes character flaws come with the territory of being open for the first time in... well, in his whole life. 

Akira laughs in return though,“Yeah? No shit, Goro,” another snicker before he sobers completely, ”I’m just offering someone to... empty your thoughts to.” Akira seems to put a great amount of thought into his words. He worries his upper lip after finishing the sentence before feigning nonchalance by scrolling on his phone. There is no doubt in Goro’s mind that phone is locked.

“Well, Akira,” once again the words sound bitter and biting, though Goro is unsure if that was his true motive, “Where should I start? Watching you all change his heart was horribly unsatisfying. I want him to suffer, to feel what those before him felt,” and now Goro is pacing around the attic with animated gestures and Akira is sitting up attentively, “I think that man should rot for what he’s done. He shouldn’t fucking get another chance, leader,” Goro isn’t even angry with Akira, though. He’s angry with himself for wanting this, for not going through with it. Contradictories make up his entire being, “I think I deserve what I wanted to happen to him because, christ! If he can apologize to me then why can’t I forgive him?” he’s nearly yelling now, but he can’t stop himself. 

“Goro,” Akira speaks up after his rant is over. Goro flops onto the bed next to him, “What?” Goro asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question. He’s being difficult again.

“I think,” he starts before taking a deep breath, as if he’s putting more thought into this response than he has for anything in his entire life, “you have seriously misunderstood my capability for doing good. If the others hadn’t been there — if it had just been me and you on that ship? I would’ve let you do it.”

Akechi sits up at the last sentence. The honesty rattles him to the core, he’s so used to this game of cat and mouse; a litany of lies strung together to hide an ugly truth in every conversation, that Akira’s bluntness nearly throws him. 

He makes a noise that sounds like a strangled “Huh?” And then Akira has one hand on either side of Goro’s face and the eye contact is ruining what little is left of Goro’s facade and then Akira says, “And... I know you don’t believe it, nor am I asking you to rush into thinking this, but you, Goro Akechi, deserve better than all of this.” 

Here’s the thing — Goro Akechi, famed Detective Prince and infamous Black Mask, does not cry. He hasn’t in years, didn’t think of himself capable of it anymore until Akira Kurusu, a delinquent, phantom thief, cafe worker, tell him those words with such honesty and kindness it knocks the air out of Goro’s chest. 

He just... collapses into Akira’s shoulder with a raw sob, dug up from the very core of Goro’s chest with enough sadness in one cry that it echoes years of loneliness. He feels like that little boy in the orphanage again listening in on the other kids whispering to “stay away from him”. 

The pair stays like that for a while. Goro crying into Akira’s shoulder and Akira rubbing a hand in circles on Goro’s back while another cards through caramel colored hair. Goro distantly realizes he hasn’t felt a kind touch since his mother died and the thought nearly breaks him all the more. 

After it all, Akira pulls Goro up again and they make eye contact once more. Goro remembers a movie he saw once. In the end, the main character had said something about a moment where you realize you aren’t just a sad story, something about lights in buildings, and Goro thinks he gets it now. Thinks he sees, idiotically enough, the lights of thousands of cities in Akira’s determined glare.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are appreciated as always... 🥺🖤


End file.
